Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
