do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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