I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
