My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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