Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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