one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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