Pants 0. Shit 1.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
