Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think your dad took our porno
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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