we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
