Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
