People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
