i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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