check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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