it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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