I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
only you would photoshop your dick
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
