Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.

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  (734): similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well. http://tfl.nu/7lvz
  Replies (143) Good night (4430) Bad night (942)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry

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  (214): would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry http://tfl.nu/l5su
  Replies (40) Good night (5765) Bad night (805)
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  (516): View more from New York

  is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?

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  (516): is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon? http://tfl.nu/8edy
  Replies (45) Good night (5688) Bad night (774)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.

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  (712): I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good. http://tfl.nu/eno8
  Replies (4) Good night (4848) Bad night (608)
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  (+07): View more from

  tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

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  (+07): tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? http://tfl.nu/7v50
  Replies (34) Good night (5405) Bad night (1070)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days

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  (571): i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days http://tfl.nu/w4vm
  Replies (23) Good night (4024) Bad night (3454)
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  (661): View more from California

  Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

  (1-661): View more from California

  What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

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  (661): Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up. (1-661): What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how" http://tfl.nu/sghh
  Replies (50) Good night (31014) Bad night (1513)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers

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  (803): some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers http://tfl.nu/iyv4
  Replies (17) Good night (8799) Bad night (1242)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.

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  (717): She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/4m88
  Replies (7) Good night (2724) Bad night (981)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on

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  (905): It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on http://tfl.nu/h715
  Replies (9) Good night (2114) Bad night (1306)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B

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  (303): I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B http://tfl.nu/0558
  Replies (11) Good night (3512) Bad night (1003)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.

  (850): View more from Florida

  This has already gotten way out of hand

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  (336): Two words. Shotgunning Cognac. (850): This has already gotten way out of hand http://tfl.nu/ow6e
  Replies (4) Good night (1436) Bad night (720)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte

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  (845): I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte http://tfl.nu/yyhp
  Replies (3) Good night (1305) Bad night (732)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.

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  (772): I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison. http://tfl.nu/yxd5
  Replies (2) Good night (1040) Bad night (573)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.

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  (605): I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk. http://tfl.nu/q1g3
  Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (451)

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