'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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