Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?