If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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