So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
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For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
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Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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