I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
