Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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