So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
