"it" just moved
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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