Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize