Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize