Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
