I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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