They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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