so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
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also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
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Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize