If i come over, it means nothing
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
