So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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