she smelled like a LAN party
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
