ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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