Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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