No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
