Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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