Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
