Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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