I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
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You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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