Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
