"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
