when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
