Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
