they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think your dad took our porno
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
