They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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