I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize