How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.