Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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