did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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