Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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