Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
