When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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