just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
