6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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