i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
