i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
