Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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