marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
