Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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